Dealing with Holiday Flare Ups
This past Thanksgiving, I had the most relaxing, enjoyable, and laid-back day I’ve had in a very long time. One of our friends who joined us said, “This is the best Thanksgiving we’ve ever had.” We then talked about how we get so stressed out about making everything perfect for the holidays that we don’t take the time to enjoy them. Celebrating the holidays becomes a chore instead of being a time to recharge. And most all of that stress is due to the pressure we place on ourselves.
I’ll be honest. What made this Thanksgiving so chill was that I was intentional about it being stress-free. I’m quite guilty of stressing myself out to make everything perfect: baking all the traditional sides, decorating the house and place settings for the table, making sure everyone has their favorite dessert, perfecting some holiday cocktail, spending hours deep cleaning the house…
This year, however, I knew I just didn’t have the capacity for all that. And so, I became intentional about de-stressing Thanksgiving, both in mindset and preparation: I ordered most of the sides and reserved my time cooking for my husband’s two absolute favorites, my husband completely handled the meats, I asked my friends to handle drinks and apps, I made one dessert, and I did a light house cleaning and reminded myself that literally no one cares if there’s a little dust on the baseboards.
And it was glorious. We had the best day relaxing, spending quality time together, and just being thankful for a beautiful day…which is the point, right?
The whole next week, I spent a lot of time working with clients in flare ups. Because guess what? Stress is a major cause of flare ups, especially for things like constipation, low back and pelvic pain, incontinence, and urinary urgency. And what do we typically do during the holidays? We stress.
We stress about making everything perfect, the extra money we’re spending on gifts and events, going to parties, getting in all the things, seeing people we only see once a year, and on and on. Unfortunately for our bodies, our pelvic floor muscles respond to this stress. It’s what they’re the best at. They over activate in an attempt to protect us and prepare us to deal with stress, but over time this worsens symptoms like those mentioned above and leads to flare ups.
Of course, there are other factors that contribute to flare ups. Our diets and routines also change during the holidays. We tend to eat more sweets and high fat foods and less veggies and fiber. We drink less water and drink more holiday concoctions. We spend more time on others’ needs and neglect self-care. Sleep less, exercise less, we don’t slow down.
So, if you’ve struggled with pelvic floor dysfunction, consider these suggestions during the holiday season to help you avoid flare ups:
Slow down! Make it a habit throughout your day to stop for one minute (an actual 60 seconds) and take some diaphragmatic breaths. It helps you refocus and calms your nervous system.
Prioritize! Focus on what’s truly important to you and yours. You do not have to do it all. You’ll enjoy the important things more if you’re not trying to fit it all in.
Indulge in moderation. Enjoy the treats and drinks during the holidays, but try to plan ahead and keep at least one, preferably two, meals of the day consistent. Get your fiber and water in early in the day so it doesn’t get neglected.
Schedule self-care time daily. Even if it’s just 10 minutes, put self-care on the calendar and treat it as the most important appointment of the day. Whether it’s exercising, taking a walk, journaling, relaxing in a bath, or spending time in a book, do something that’s only for you. Your body and your nervous system (and others around you) will thank you.
Practice self-compassion. You don’t expect perfection from others. Don’t expect it from yourself. Don’t let one too many brownies, a minor meltdown, or skipping pilates for one more hour of sleep completely derail you. And if a flare up does happen, make a plan to get back on track with compassion, forgiveness, and positive self-talk instead of guilt and shame.
I hope all your holidays are filled with peace and joy! I do believe that in this crazy world we have to be intentional about that. And I would love to be able to tell you that once your pelvic floor issues are fixed that they stay fixed. But that’s just not life. Flare ups happen. Our bodies require maintenance. And when those flare ups do happen, I’m here to help you through them. Just reach out!
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