Getting Back to Sexy Time Postpartum
Tissues have likely healed and you will likely be cleared by your medical provider to return to normal activity around 6-8 weeks postpartum. This does NOT mean that your body will feel like it did pre-pregnancy or that it will feel ok to return to your normal activity. This is especially true for sexual activity. While pain with intercourse postpartum is common, it is not normal. A lot of things contribute to this:
Pelvic floor muscle trauma from pregnancy and giving birth
Pelvic floor muscle tightness (yes, you can get painful trigger points in these muscles)
Perineal tears/scar tissue (including c-section scars)
Dryness from decreased estrogen
Lack of sleep, fatigue, STRESS
If you try intercourse too soon postpartum and you experience pain, this can set you up for worsening pain down the road. What happens when we experience pain with something is that our brain goes into overdrive to protect us from that pain. So, we have sex, it hurts. Our brain says, “we didn’t like that, let’s don’t do that again.” So, the next time you try, your brain tells your body to protect itself - tense up - and then sex is painful again. And this starts a downward pain cycle.
So what are some ways you can set yourself up for success when it comes to returning to sexy time? Try these tips:
Communicate with your partner. Returning to sexual activity before you’re ready or trying to “push through the pain” can cause long-term consequences.
Prepare your body with stretches that help relax the pelvic floor muscles, including child’s pose, deep squat, and happy baby. Use your breath to relax your body. As you take a breath in, allow your belly and rib cage to expand. Breathe down into your pelvic floor and allow it to relax/drop.
Use a water-based lubricant or natural oil during sexual activity. Try a vulvar moisturizer daily if you feel really dry and irritated.
Try positions where you can control penetration depth and angle. Listen to your body and be gentle with what feels differently. Go slow, modify, and stop if you need to.
Be creative. Explore non-penetrative options for intimacy that works for both partners. You can always work back into full penetration slowly.
Intercourse should always be pain free!
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